Out of the Blocks

Cheri turned on the TV at 5:30 this morning, excited for the opportunity to watch the events leading up to the royal wedding between Meghan Markle and Prince Harry. I could have put on my grumpy act, but I knew that for her, it was similar to my turning on the TV early in the morning to watch the British Open. Besides, I didn’t really mind. Royal weddings don’t happen every day, and this one was intriguing.

Meghan, a successful American actress, but a commoner in the eyes of British royalty, willingly surrendered her acting career, her own clothing line, and a successful lifestyle blog so she could marry her royal prince. Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex, is the son of Prince Charles and Princess Diana. He is a former military officer who served as a helicopter pilot for a time in Afghanistan, and is sixth in the line of succession to the British throne. Their marriage goes against the grain of British royalty, and their relationship was met with resistance and criticism by the British press. But, given the huge crowd that gathered around Windsor Castle this morining, all seems to be well with the Brits. The wedding ceremony went without a hitch, and Meghan, now Duchess of Sussex, was a beautifull bride, demonstrating great poise throughout the ceremony.

Today, I was reminded of another royal wedding that will take place at some future time; that of Jesus Christ, the King, and of his bride, the church. Jesus is the supreme King, and he will marry his bride, whom he has adopted as his own. We, the church, are of common descent, born of Adam, born in sin. But by his grace, we have been made righteous, and by his Spirit, we are being sanctified so that when that day comes, he will present his bride, the church “to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish” (Eph 5:23).

Until that day, it is our duty and our privilege to participate with him as he sanctifies us. We participate by forsaking the sin that besets us and walking according to the Spirit. We are called to be holy in all of our conduct, striving for peace with everyone (I Pet 1:15; Heb 12;14). The day of our royal wedding will be a beautiful day, a day of rejoicing that will never cease. Every royal wedding before that day will pale in comparison. What a glorious day that will be!

I often hear people say that marriage is hard. I heard it at church today. The speaker's opening line was "marriage is hard." I'm sure many would agree. According to the American Psychological Association, the divorce rate in the U.S is between 40 and 50 percent for first marriages, and even higher for subsequent marriages. But I strongly disagree with the statement that marriage is hard. I think the better statement would be "we can, and often do make marriage hard."

Cheri and I were discussing this on our way home today. We have been married 33 years, and we both agree that these have been the best years of our lives. It is both humbling and gratifying to hear her tell me that she loves being married to me. I know that I am far from being the perfect man and the perfect husband, but she loves me even when I don't get it right. We have had our share of disagreements over the years, and on rare occasions, have had some harsh words. But overall, we have enjoyed a harmonious relationship characterized by love, cooperation (not compromise - more on that later), and commitment to each other.

I decided to write this today to encourage you, whether you are already married or are contemplating marriage, to not make marriage hard. I fully understand that that a harmonious relationship is dependent upon the cooperation of both parties, and if one party is not cooperative, a happy marriage may be out of reach. But, to borrow from the words of the apostle Paul, "if possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with [your spouse]" Rom 12:18). Following are a few thoughts on what it takes to be happily married: